You are what you say

My Beirut Baby turned three last week. Watching her language develop still astounds me. And it’s not just linguistic; listening to her speak teaches me a lot about her personality, too.

My little control freak, having breakfast on the terrace:

“Wind, don’t blow my hair when I’m eating!” …or…

“Fly! Fly! Come to me!”

My little humorist, who loves the huge calendar I make her every couple of weeks, with a cheeky smile:

“Is there a “L” in the middle of Wednesday and we say ‘Welensday’?”

Or, deliberately showing me her “Domino” box upside down:

“Do we say ‘Onimod’?”

My little obsessive (eating an olive oil biscuit called torta con aceite) the day after discussing how we don’t say the last letter often in French:

“Do we say the s at the end of torta when there’s lots of tortas?”

Finally I have someone to talk language-nerd talk to. Recently she has begun to pretend she is someone else in the family. “I’m being Daddy,” she says, putting on her red dress-up glasses. “Dans ce cas, pourquoi tu parles en anglais et pas en français comme moi ?” asks her dad (In that case why are you speaking English, not French like me?)

Her response: “I’m being Daddy talking to Mummy.”

We still speak predominantly English as a couple, but much more French than before. Her French is also coming on in leaps and bounds, but her expression has again dropped slightly behind her English. However, we’ll be swapping the churros for croissants and spending a chunk of the summer in France, so I can ease up worrying about that Anglo-dominant tidal wave swallowing her up just yet.

Wolf at the door?

I know I’m not the only parent in families with several languages to obsess over how much exposure our progeny get to each language. When I read other blogs or forums there’s often a sense of the struggle for survival. Parents racing to stay ahead of the majority language, an unstoppable wave. If we hesitate for but a moment, we’ll see the minority language(s) engulfed by it.

Just to update on our situation, Beirut Baby is nearly three, and Paris Baby is now ten months. I speak English to the kids, my husband speaks French (one of his three family languages) to them and together we two speak English and French. We have been living in Spain for a few months. We spend a lot of time with English friends and there aren’t many French living in the area.

I was delighted to realise that French had drawn level with English during the seven months we were in France. Now I hear her English stronger, both vocab and syntax. She has forgotten some words she used to use. A few times recently she was talking to her dad and turned to ask me a word in French to complete her sentence. And a couple of times when she’s upset and we were both present she has switched from French to English as if it were the easier choice in which to air her grievances.

I’m also concerned about little one. My first baby, born in Lebanon, was surrounded by far more French than my second has been here in Spain. We spoke a lot of French to friends and out shopping, especially when I was out of my depth for Arabic. Whereas here there is next to no French influence from outside the family. Her first few words were French, but I’d be very surprised if his were.

But it’s quite hard to boost the minority language without actually speaking it to your children. I want to stick to OPOL with her as I feel if I mix languages soon enough the kids will mix too and then take the path of least resistance (ie English only). And when she goes to school Spanish will overtake English as the majority language and her dad and I will both have our work cut out keeping our respective languages alive.

So here are a few ways I’ve been trying to keep in touch with the minority language. Please do add any suggestions.

  • writing a menu for the dinner as I prepare it. I write out the meal in French for daddy and my daughter suggests what drinks and desserts we might offer him. “A yoghurt? Ok, how would daddy say it? Ok, yaourt, and shall we add melon?
  • writing little notes and messages for daddy: “Veux-tu venir manger…maintenant? dans 10 minutes? jamais?” (Do you want to come and eat…now? in 10 minutes? never?)
  • playing a game and then preparing to play it with her dad.

It’s not much but it helps her not to put French aside all day long, and just as important, it sparks lively vocab-rich conversations with her dad over dinner.